Dialogues At The End Of The Search
"All Teachers Know Each Other" (Chapter 72)
Wayne: I now come to the question “where do I begin?” - or in full; “where do I begin to close this Teaching?” Parts of what I next say may appear disjointed to some - maybe to all - and so before I begin, let me tell you why this may be so, and intimate to you what is coming.
We live in a linear world, a world of cause and effect; a world where one thing builds upon another. Our minds, being a product of this world, operate in a linear fashion. What I See and have to Say is a whole, an “atonce- ness”, the Truth beyond all distinctions; and yet, since I am in this world (but not of it), I must conform to the rules of this world. I must speak to the mind, so that the mind can begin to give up its lost cause of trying to explain and “own” Truth (although few are yet ready to accept that that is a lost cause).
In order to Speak to you so that I may lead you to Nothing, I must create new rules and ways of Speaking, so that the mind is momentarily stopped. In a sense I have been doing this all along, and that is the reason that some of you Know - beyond what the mind tells you. What I am about to begin writing, therefore, will not necessarily follow the rules of this world – and yet at the same time is will not violate them.
Some of you are beginning to Know, or already Know (and I Know who you are) that you are not of this world. Many other people intellectually know this, but intellectual knowledge is of the mind, and therefore false. All things of the mind are false - or an illusion, which is the same. Many people can say the same words I do, and yet their words have no life, no juice, and no energy. And this is so, because knowing is of the mind, and the mind is dead. Thoughts are inert and must be given energy in order to live. Heart energy is True energy, and has no concern for what passes for energy in this world. Teachers give energy from the Heart to the words, while teachers (small “t”) give energy from the mind to the words.
The question becomes this: what does one do after one Knows? The answer is that one does the same as before one Knew. Nothing changes at all. And to this the mind asks, “If nothing changes, what is the point of Knowing?” - this is a typical EM question. EM always wants a pay-off in this world. But in Truth there are no pay-offs. The only thing this world offers is a temporary adventure and then death. That is the fate of
everyone, whether they live one hour or 100 years. All life is dependent upon time, which is only in this world and relates only to the phenomena of this world. Time is contained in Truth, along with every thing else; yet Truth knows nothing of phenomena (for ACIM students: “God does not know of separation.”).
For those who Know beyond the mind that they are in this world but not of it, the world and this so-called life is indeed seen as a gift. Those who do not refer to Truth through the mind but refer to it from Peace, can know this gift.
Many people desire to Know Truth, but few will pay the price to Know it. The price is the surrender of the self to One who has already done it. I am such a One, and there are others. All Teachers Know each other. But before anyone from now on enters into an intimate relationship with me, I want to tell you what to expect:
--- Expect to be ridiculed. EM will ridicule you by disparaging me. You will be guilty by association. And in this I will not protect you; it is a part of the “initiation,” meaning that if you cannot stand the heat then you should not be in association with me. I will tell you now that you will “betray” me, but in this you will be forgiven.
--- Expect to be attacked by the mind. The mind will serve up every reason not to be with me, and it can be very convincing, as you know. For most of you, all you have, as a reference point at this time, is the mind - you know of no other way to refer to yourself. I offer you a True way, but it has no value in this world (beyond Knowing how to suffer, therefore not suffering - hence Peace).
--- You must find your way to me. I will not come to you. I do not bargain with EM. You must at some point meet me physically.
--- You must finally realize, if you haven’t already, that you are EM in this world, but you are not EM in Truth.
--- You will become frustrated because I will not debate with you. In this world debating or discussing is looked upon as civilized. We discuss things (if we are reasonable), in order to hear the other person’s point of view and in so hearing perhaps moderate our own point of view. This is a reasonable thing to do in this world but in matters of Truth it is a prime delaying tactic of EM. No True Teacher discusses or debates. Nor does the True Teacher have any concerns for Em’s protestations and
insistence on wanting to debate and discuss, nor does the Teacher have any concern for the attacks that EM mounts when it can’t get its way. The True Teacher’s response amounts to “Fuck you!” with no concern if EM leaves.
Truth is not something that can be discussed or debated - I leave that to the so-called students and followers of organized religions and spiritual paths, who love debate more than Truth. Truth is not lost. Some of you here already Know Truth, and I am here to confirm your Knowing. You may not know that you Know, but I will help you Know it. All you need do is ask with sincerity, and I will confirm or not confirm. And some of you can see by my saying “I will confirm or not confirm,” that this statement alone is one that can repel and turn people away from me or attract. It is dependent upon how willing you are to surrender.
And to be sure, surrender to the Teacher does not mean surrender to Wayne Austin. Wayne Austin is in this world and enjoys and dislikes many of the same things you do; but That which is not of this world and which also watches or witnesses Wayne, is the One Speaking.
Those of you who have Heard me, can tell the difference.
And in reflection of all this, EOTS has been pared down. I am only interested in those who are tired of the old ways. Stop lying to yourself.
EM: Yes, but I am wondering why some (supposedly Realized) people seem to have “purpose?” I can always find the energy to do what needs doing, but little else has any appeal at all… I seem to just drift along… peaceful drifting.
Wayne: “Peaceful drifting” is nicely descriptive. Realized people seem to have a purpose, but the life that they seem to have is just being lived: no one is doing it. For instance I am not planning anything, and even the term “I” is not accurate.
EM: The only “gift” that I can see is the sheer Mystery of it all . . . and Knowing I am connected to it All. Unless you are referring to the simple pleasure of the ten thousand things that often shine briefly. Can you tell me about the gift?
Wayne: The gift is the sheer joy of, as you say, “the ten thousand things that often shine briefly.” Live is very enjoyable, just like a good movie. Even the “bad” parts contribute to the enjoyment. It’s absolutely fabulous! Just don’t get attached to anything and know that all things will pass. And if you can begin to really know that all things will pass then only a person who likes to suffer, would become attached to anything. Only EM requires attachment.
EM: Yes, one foot in Stillness, one foot in phenomenal reality, but am I EM when the One is speaking? Am I EM less and less? Is EM just a tool that Oneness uses? Does it matter?
Wayne: EM will begin to lose its grip as one stops following it. It will never completely vanish but it will become a good servant instead of a tyrannical master.
EM: I have felt this response welling up in me when facing strong EM resistance to Truth.
Wayne: Yes, we all do, but you have stayed while others have left.
EM: Yes, and it is amazing how often we need to be reminded of this :-)
Wayne: A Teacher cannot provide the essential experience, which is to Realize Truth, but once Realized (and most have Realized it, but have forgotten it, or minimized it) the only role the Teacher has is to continually remind the Student of that which he or she already Knows, but has merely forgotten.
All the Teacher does is point. False teachers continually forget themselves but True Teachers never do.
EM: Wayne, may I ask for some assistance? I find it relatively easy to become present Now. However, it seems this is conditional. A certain level of focusing is required. Whether it is visual or audible (like the buzz of my computer), my awareness is brought Here, but there is the lingering focusing to remain Here and it is short-lived. I have always liked the analogy of the movie and the movie screen. This is much like having a switch that turns the movie off (temporarily) when someone sneezes in the theater. My focus goes toward the sound of the sneezer or the theater, instead of watching the screen. Perhaps I am not supposed to see a screen at all, but there is mind activity, albeit less than a full-blown motion
picture, when I focus on something. I suppose there is a question in there somewhere, but I probably know the answer.....just writing what trickles through.
Wayne: Obviously, very obviously, you are aware. You cannot be unaware of what you are aware of. If someone sneezes you are aware of it - you can’t help that - but you usually are not aware that you get annoyed when you think you should have overlooked or somehow not been bothered by the sneeze. You have judged awareness, but then been unaware of the judging (until now). One thing in this world is not better or worse than another to witness.
If we see a lovely sunset, we are aware of the beauty and “accept” it, but usually we do not notice that subtle acceptance, because we are focused on the event. On the other hand, when we pass a gruesome accident (and don’t want to look but look anyway), we are aware of our morbid fascination, but do not usually notice how we judge (and “reject”) the event or our attitude to it.
As one continues in EOTS (which in fact is not a linear “path” at all), one becomes more and more sensitive. Sensitivity doesn’t really “increase” (it just seems to), as you are already Sensitivity itSelf and all that’s happening is that the veils are dissolving. Nevertheless, talking of sensitivity “increasing” is more understandable to EM.
What I am suggesting is to begin to become aware of everything, and particularly the body’s reactions to everything. EM has a tendency to not want to notice anything that will shine a light on it - such as when it is angry or “unforgiving” or any of the things it thinks it shouldn’t be. Remember that there is no way to be, there is just being.
And being is Peace - Nothing - no thing at all.
EM: This is good Wayne! Metta made the same point, when a lady said that she’d lost her ability to see objectively or something to that effect and Metta asked her “What noticed that you lost your ability to see objectively?” She didn’t go into quite the detail you just did though. So the point seems to be to just HIGHLIGHT or bring up into full consciousness what is already being witnessed, because the Seeing/Witnessing cannot be turned off and on?
Wayne: No “highlighting” or “bringing up into full consciousness” required. No strain and no pain. Everything at all times is witnessed. And no one can in Truth do anything wrong.
EM: As I write about this odd day and read the responses, it begins to look like this is nothing more than another bout of letting go.
Wayne: That’s what it is. Letting go is… well, letting go of everything. When we begin to do this we find ourselves standing in one spot doing nothing at all, and being okay with it. Of course we get some strange looks from people sometimes, but what do they know? (They only know how to do things.) As we begin to surrender, EM comes up with all the reasons why this is such a “useless” thing to do, and it can be rather uncomfortable just standing there with the phone in our hand and not dialing; but we begin to grok something, and a smile comes creeping across our mug, even though we don’t know what in the hell we are smiling at.
So we just sit down and watch the mind shout at us that we have work to do and dishes to wash; and still, there we sit with a stupid smile on our face. Something is getting in, beyond anything the mind can figure out. And then EM plays its trump card, saying “Oh, I know what this is, it’s …” and if we’re not careful we begin following that thought, and before long we’re up - dialing, washing dishes and patting ourselves on the back for being so smart that we figured out what that stopping was all about. We don’t see that ol’ EM has just snuck one right past us.
When we find ourselves in those moments, sort of frozen in time, it’s a good place to just witness the thoughts flow by, and most importantly to witness the thoughts about the thoughts, because they are just thoughts too. That is where EM squeaks one by: in the thoughts about thoughts. But as you begin to watch, really watch, you begin to see the thoughts lurking behind the thoughts and the thoughts behind them and it gets quieter and quieter and quieter. And then ol’ EM serves up a thought about “quiet” and we’re off and running again. It’s a game, a funny game ... unless it isn’t, because you are trying to figure it all out, and then it’s called suffering. :)
EM: Yeah, easy enough to say for somebody with a nice pension.
I have a friend who knew me during my working years and who knows me now in retirement. When I was working (and he was struggling), he always said things like, “Ya Wayne, easy enough for you, you have a nice income, a loving family, a nice house, dog, everything; I have to struggle all the time.” I have now retired and he is now a millionaire. I visited with him not long ago and he said, “Ya Wayne, easy for you, you are living in retirement, with a nice place in the hills, and a loving wife, and a dog, and everything, and I have to go to work every day, and be concerned about the company and its future, and venture capital people and things…”
The grass is always greener… :))
EM: What happens to me is that you end up only doing things you REALLY want to do. Otherwise one just sits in full awareness combined with a mild perplexity at the lack of activity!!
Wayne: Ya know, as a Teacher, you spend time training and Teaching your “kids” (Students), and they nod their heads and say “Yes Sir!” and you know they Love you and you Love them ... but then they go and say something stupid like “you end up only doing things you REALLY want to do.” And at that time the only thing you want to do is grab them by the back of the neck and haul them off to the woodshed! It’s in that spirit that I write once more, to my poor befuddled son as follows:
Dear Son, You ain’t shit! You never do the things you want to do because there ain’t no “you” to “want to.” Now I Know you know this, and only need some reminding (and if you ask me “who needs reminding” I am going to get a two by four and stick it right up your ass instead of beating you senseless with it).
Okay, now we can go back to “wanting” and “not wanting” and pretend we are actually doing these things and carry on as if nothing has changed - which it hasn’t, but it was probably time for you to get a spanking so consider it duly administered.