Dialogues At The End Of The Search
"Put Down That Book" (Chapter 5)
EM: Having been spending a bit of time over at the NG (an ACIM newsgroup), it is becoming more and more obvious why Wayne saw that one has to move away from ACIM (A Course In Miracles) to help the people who are stuck “in” it. They simply use the book as a way to avoid opening up to anything “new.” Everything gets referenced to their previously conceptual conclusions!!! I can see why you get to a point and then you have to say - look - put the fucking book down and listen to me for a bit. Trouble is that brings up all their unresolved authority issues!!!!
Wayne: Excellent. Yes, I look in on the NG also and you are right on. ACIM, the Bible, Koran, whatever can be used to not discover Truth. Since many of us are familiar with ACIM, it is easy to see this reluctance to drop the book, not because there is anything wrong with it, but because it has become a crutch. For many people the initial fear to face is having no reference point such as a “holy” book.
EM: I remembered what you said about going deep into the Fear. I know it is about death. At the library, when I returned my books, I checked out three videos, two travel videos and one on Tibetan Book of the Dead (a Lama was serving a dying man by reading the description of the death process). The only one I was drawn to watch was that one. I put it on as he was describing the person having to relinquish all ideas of themselves, all attachments to who they thought they were. All of it. I saw that this is the process NOW. It doesn’t have to be at physical death. I knew this intellectually before, but now it became a Seeing. I played the video a second time and fell asleep listening to it again.
Wayne: You have served up another opportunity for a little Learning here, not only for yourself, but also for many others here (and not here). You got it when you say in many different ways that it’s all about fear of death. But I want to show you, one of the ways we avoid this fear, is to read about death. :) In other words the way we avoid dealing with the fear of death, is to read how others avoid it or how others tell us to avoid it or to deal with it. After awhile, it begins to dawn on us, that we aren’t really going into the heart of fear, into the core of it, we are reading and trying to understand how to do it. :) It’s our old friend ego/mind once again coming to the rescue and trying to help us. He’s a sly old dog. :))
EM: Wow but it is sooooo scary. :-) Mmm…All books have been on the shelf for about six months now. Depression and withdrawal symptoms became quite bad, I do not know if I can last out, but I will try a bit longer.
Wayne: Congratulations on being able to put the books away for a while. Depression and withdrawal symptoms can be quite bad and I would not minimize them. (If depression is due to clinical rather than psychological, then one should take medicine). Yes, it can be the scariest thing one will ever do but it only need be done once. When one persists and just says to all this fear “Okay, so kill me and get it over with, I will run no more,” and as the “drum beats of doom” get louder, one will See, if one has the courage, that the “boogey man” of fear is always “out there.” The only weapon fear has is the idea of “I'm going to get you.” It never does get you because it can't. If it ever loses its power of separation it disappears. In order to destroy you, it has to be something other than you. It is just a thought and only has the power you give it.
For people here who may choose to put all texts and paths aside (which is the purpose of this list, not to argue interpretations of paths), I for one, will stand with you any way I can, day or night. We have run from fear all our lives. We have hidden behind “getting ready to face fear,” which is all spiritual discussion lists are about. They are only about delay. Spiritual discussion lists are about getting ready to face fear. There is always one more discussion to consider.
Once again, you may be going through a scary period, but I will tell you something now, that intellectually does not make sense, and yet it is true: You are all alone, but you are surrounded by all the help you need.
Wayne: Excellent. Yes, I look in on the NG also and you are right on. ACIM, the Bible, Koran, whatever can be used to not discover Truth. Since many of us are familiar with ACIM, it is easy to see this reluctance to drop the book, not because there is anything wrong with it, but because it has become a crutch. For many people the initial fear to face is having no reference point such as a “holy” book.
EM: I remembered what you said about going deep into the Fear. I know it is about death. At the library, when I returned my books, I checked out three videos, two travel videos and one on Tibetan Book of the Dead (a Lama was serving a dying man by reading the description of the death process). The only one I was drawn to watch was that one. I put it on as he was describing the person having to relinquish all ideas of themselves, all attachments to who they thought they were. All of it. I saw that this is the process NOW. It doesn’t have to be at physical death. I knew this intellectually before, but now it became a Seeing. I played the video a second time and fell asleep listening to it again.
Wayne: You have served up another opportunity for a little Learning here, not only for yourself, but also for many others here (and not here). You got it when you say in many different ways that it’s all about fear of death. But I want to show you, one of the ways we avoid this fear, is to read about death. :) In other words the way we avoid dealing with the fear of death, is to read how others avoid it or how others tell us to avoid it or to deal with it. After awhile, it begins to dawn on us, that we aren’t really going into the heart of fear, into the core of it, we are reading and trying to understand how to do it. :) It’s our old friend ego/mind once again coming to the rescue and trying to help us. He’s a sly old dog. :))
EM: Wow but it is sooooo scary. :-) Mmm…All books have been on the shelf for about six months now. Depression and withdrawal symptoms became quite bad, I do not know if I can last out, but I will try a bit longer.
Wayne: Congratulations on being able to put the books away for a while. Depression and withdrawal symptoms can be quite bad and I would not minimize them. (If depression is due to clinical rather than psychological, then one should take medicine). Yes, it can be the scariest thing one will ever do but it only need be done once. When one persists and just says to all this fear “Okay, so kill me and get it over with, I will run no more,” and as the “drum beats of doom” get louder, one will See, if one has the courage, that the “boogey man” of fear is always “out there.” The only weapon fear has is the idea of “I'm going to get you.” It never does get you because it can't. If it ever loses its power of separation it disappears. In order to destroy you, it has to be something other than you. It is just a thought and only has the power you give it.
For people here who may choose to put all texts and paths aside (which is the purpose of this list, not to argue interpretations of paths), I for one, will stand with you any way I can, day or night. We have run from fear all our lives. We have hidden behind “getting ready to face fear,” which is all spiritual discussion lists are about. They are only about delay. Spiritual discussion lists are about getting ready to face fear. There is always one more discussion to consider.
Once again, you may be going through a scary period, but I will tell you something now, that intellectually does not make sense, and yet it is true: You are all alone, but you are surrounded by all the help you need.
